Anyone close to me knows these last few months haven't been easy. I've had a string of bad luck, bad days, and bad news, much of which has been so frustrating, random, and confounding that it's reached the level of comedic, and some of which I'm still struggling with. All that being said, I've spent enough time licking my wounds and feeling sorry for myself, so I've decided to put some positivity back in the world. I introduce to you the I'M HERE FOR YOU sale. I know I can't be the only one having hard times right now so my fellow down in the dumpers this sale is for you. Special someone just break your heart, glue factory just laid you off, America's Got Talent not returning your calls? Well I'm here for you! THat's right! If life's got you down enter I'M HERE FOR YOU at checkout to get 15% off your order. If you just got a promotion at work or put the down payment on your new pool then you need not apply. How do you know if you are eligible? There is no need to share your misfortune but if you want to, remember... I'M HERE FOR YOU. I'll let your conscience sort out whether this sale's for you or not.
Happy people don't go kicking dirt yet, I haven't left you guys completely out in the cold. IF life is going good for you and yours and you are not eligible for the I'M HERE FOR YOU sale we will be donating the 15% you would have saved to a yet to be decided charity (open to suggestions). This sale will run from today through next Tuesday, so let's see how your summer's going.